September 3, 2012

Tomorrow...

He is the biggest part of my world.
I've spent only one night away from him in 2 years and it was so hard.
He is my blood, my heart, my love, and my greatest accomplishment.
Pretty much my everything.
Bean.
Tomorrow I'll set off to go back to "work" in the downtown office that I left gratefully on Sept 16, 2010.
Almost two years ago to the day.
I can't believe how lucky I have been to have had so much time at home with my wee man.

I'm completely overwhelmed with emotions.
And have been for some time.
GUILT.
Confusion.
Nerves.
Passion.
Worry.
Fear.
and full on SAD.

I know it will work out as it should.
I know it is part of the growth and learning us parents need to journey through.
I know we will all be fine at the end of the day.

I've just loved being home with my son.  End of story.

Tomorrow will come and go.
That is a guarantee.
And yes thousands of parents do this each day. Leave babies at home or in another person's care, but they are not me. 
They are not me and no matter what others say (and I'm so thankful for friends and family who encourage) I can't help but think I'm best at home.
I'll know by noon tomorrow what my outlook is.
I'm funny like that.  
I just know.


2 comments:

  1. How did today go? It is SO HARD to go back to work and leave babe with someone else, and I imagine it would be even harder after 2 years. I hope you found your answer today ... Either decision has it's difficulties and positives, so you really have to go with your heart.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AAAAH!
    How did I only see this post now?!?
    Tears, mumma...that's all I've got.

    ReplyDelete

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